The good and evils of Facebook

Hello all! When I sit down at my computer, I tend to have a routine. I log on and check my hotmail, gmail and then Facebook. I love Facebook, because it's a great way to keep in touch with my friends. I live in a rural community where just about everyone I know is at least 5 miles away, if not more. With that in mind, what's not to love about Facebook? Everyone I know all in one place and in the time it would take me to drive to one friend's home, I can say hi or happy birthday or cute picture of your daughter, and save gas money!

The problem comes when you are tempted to "Facebook Stalk". My ex husband has a Facebook account, and some days I find it very hard to stay away from his page. While we were attempting to work things out, we were Facebook friends. After we made the final decision to go through with the divorce, I decided that it wasn't a good idea to stay online friends so I removed him. I didn't think I would really be able to get closure on our situation if I could see what he was up to all the time.

So, today I'm exercising every bit of willpower I have to not look. It's almost like when you have a black and blue mark that hurts every time you touch it, yet you keep touching it. When I see pictures of him with his friends, or see that he has gone out (without calling his son, yet again) it hurts my heart. It is definitely better than it was, but still frustrating.

How are we supposed to find peace and closure for situations like these in this digital, point and click age? And with people having Facebook and MySpace and even blogs like this, how do we learn and respect boundaries and privacy? And how to we make sure to teach our children these lessons? How do we pass on respect for other people when you can go online and find out every one's dirty little secrets? And with that in mind, how to we help our children understand the vastness and permanency of placing something on the Internet? That is a very abstract concept, and I know I would hate to see my son having fun with his friends, take some photos, have them show up on the Internet and then have them used for who-knows-what later. I feel fortunate that my son is only 3 and so I can postpone that prospect for a little while.

For those of you who are interested, I've found some really great articles on Facebook etiquette, both personally and professionally. I look forward to some great discussion on this topic!

Laura K.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/01/14/facebook/ Here are some guidelines for Facebook in the professional realm

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/terms.php?ref=pf This is Facebook's actual statement of user's rights and responsibilities.

http://www.yourtango.com/20099081/top-10-etiquette-rules-for-facebook I really liked this article about Facebook in your personal life, especially with regards to relationships. It's good information with some fun sarcasm added to it!